I'm not always practical. Please don't get me wrong. I'm not frivolous, either. I was raised in a home where we saved scraps of foil and plastic wrap to re-use well beyond what the Saran Wrap people are probably comfortable with, even though Saran Wrap was apparently once sprayed on fighter jets. Until 2007 I still had the living room furniture that my former husband and I bought in 1990. I'm proud of my "new" home, partly because the property and decor updates have been made with cans of paint, a borrowed rear-tine tiller, a well-worn tool belt, handy friends, and some sweaty ingenuity. You get the idea...impractical, no, reasonable, yes.
So why don't I feel a little naughty for spending $59,634.17, that I don't have?
I committed to that number when I sent one-hundred dollars to the University of Pittsburgh last week, which secured my spot in the 2-year occupational therapy graduate program that begins there this June. Two years - at least! - without a paycheck...which I'm used to now as a seasoned displaced worker. Luckily I have a streak of my parents' thriftiness, with no debt and a healthy savings because of it. When I lost my job and decided to change careers, my financial advisor almost fist-bumped me when we ran through all of the "can I do this?" numbers - a move that might've been hard for him since he's never even high-fived. But, that's another story.
So with the fiscal blessing of a very proper advisor, I spent twice the equivalent of a Mario Lemieux rookie hockey card this fall, to finish the prerequisites for the really expensive credits to come. And it felt good. Not to spend the money, but to know that I have a career-change plan with both certainties, and with a big "follow your heart/by-the-seat-of-my-pants" aspect. Which is helping to build something so gratifying that I can't describe it very well yet. And the impractical part is that no matter how much some friends tease about my new debt monkey, I'm not worried about it. Not the least bit. Even though I know that in my new vocation I won't come near my previous earnings. Even the part-time job I just agreed to at Elite Runners and Walkers has nothing to do with the paycheck. I may be endlessly confused and sometimes off-base about other matters of the heart but this one, is crystal clear. There is just a powerful but easy, comfortable, knowing...that there's no reason to worry about this part of the future.
That's an accomplishment because for as fortunate as I am in so many things, I can also get in my own way. Actually, my ego does. Becomes the boss of me. Frustratingly and sometimes unpredictably. I've talked myself into bad decisions or behavior, and out of good ones, just by listening to the blahb-ing in my head. This is commonly known as acting like a mind-numbing ass. That's not a put-down, it's just the truth. Honestly, I should know better by now but, like Man vs. Food, the head vs. heart or the ego vs. id, can be a full-bodied challenge. This abundant life has always been even more so when I've just given my agitated ego a hug, then sent it off to be of some service in another part of my body (don't ask me how it works, it just does).
So, a stepped-up resolution (as much as I dislike the concept) to give my ego enough busy work, to let the other pure parts do what they do best. Like, bringing me to an enormously gratifying new vocation. My financial advisor will be proud of me, but my loved ones will appreciate it most.
And, I might even earn more fist-bumps along the way.
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