I'm not close to perfect and hope I never am, but recently I've been wondering how to show gratitude, perfectly. Or how to show perfect gratitude. Or how to perfectly show gratitude. So I'm stuck without a way to express gratitude, perfectly. Sweet Jesus. See what I mean?Thankfulness, gratitude, acknowledgement, grace, thanksgiving. I'm full of it (don't you dare!) because the last two-plus years have brought much professional and personal change, and I'm not sure I could've plowed through it without you.
Yeah, you.
We all, obviously, manage change. Some resist it but I've always run toward it, for some insane reason. Except when it's thrust on me like, when I became an unwilling (but pissed) crime victim or, when my Dad's body finally couldn't keep up with his soul, and gave out. Or when the love of my life decided otherwise.
But back to the running towards change. Which can be certifiably insane but absolutely spine-tingling and fun (yes Pitt friends, I'm a sensory seeker).
I'm not sure why or how but I've always known I could handle change, adversity, heartbreak, and all their cousins. I don' t always like it - who does? heartbreak is heartbreaking! - but instead of bringing out the worst in me these things tend to push away the worst worldly, ego-centric pieces I've got and leave behind.....I'm not sure what. But the leftovers are more pure and soul-serving than the other stuff and, I'd rather function on the leftovers. Which have become a bigger and bigger piece of my life since, as a girl of a certain age (A-hem), I've accumulated years of change-management experiences. Though I'm still able to just pluck my gray hairs vs. coloring them (thanks Dad).
But whatever personal resilience I've got is nothing compared to what friends and family and classmates and neighbors are willing to do and supply, when I'm about to be squashed by something whether it's planned, or not. Somehow, because I certainly don't deserve it, I'm surrounded by the most warm, generous, laughter-and-wisdom-filled people on the planet. Whether you're nearby or far you've provided laughs, love, an ear, a wink, broad shoulders, a hug, a call, a note, a visit. In abundance. Unannounced and unbidden. It's that part that really gets me, and nudges personal resilience into plasticity (such, a geek). I don't think I could've outwitted these recent years without your personal gifts, and I know I don't have the words to thank you with.
That's not an adequate enough description of what you all offer and how I appreciate it more than this little love note could ever say. But I wanted to try anyway. You are each a unique and special blessing to this world, and in my life.
So thank you.
And let me share the leftovers.
