Monday, May 17, 2010

Danny


My friend Danny will be graduating soon, then heading to Duquesne University this fall. I admire him for lots of reasons - he's worked harder than most people do to reach this point, he respects and loves his family and friends, he relates quickly and easily to everyone he meets, and he's a hell of a dancer. He's human sunshine. Danny has Down Syndrome, but I don't think anyone would mind if it were renamed Up, for him.

In a week or so he'll graduate from the school program that's he's been part of, and then walk with the the other graduates from the high school he would've gone to, if he weren't "Up". And then, just like a lot of his classmates, he'll go to college. His parents and older brother have cultivated a normal life that Danny contributes to, like anyone else.

And no one, contributes exactly like he does.

For example, Danny and his Dad (Jeff, a good friend) came to help dig me out from under Snowmageddon a few months ago. Jeff's enormous snow blower broke through, but Danny's wild "WOOOOO, yeeaaahhhh!!" shoveling kept us far out ahead of any thought of stopping. I mean, who could quit on that? That boy has some lungs, muscles, and a huge heart. He knew my Mom needed rescuing and wouldn't let us stop until I could back down the driveway. He also wanted to show off his upper-body strength. Did he, ever.

Last week he knocked on my door on prom night....showing off his look, as suave as could be, swinging his fancy cane, and excited for the night of dancing with his date and friends. He blushed when I kissed him, but didn't hesitate to smack me back. A few nights later he was off to another year-end school formal, looking just as debonair.....but his graduation party in a few weeks should be 'island casual'. It's MUCH easier to dance, in cargo shorts and funky sneakers.

I'm starting school a few months earlier than Danny will be heading off to his Duquesne University program. I'm ready, I'm excited, and I'm anxious about some things. Danny, is ready, he's excited, but he is not wasting his energy thinking or worrying too far forward. He's too focused on today's activities and pleasures to bother much with nerves. I only have some sense of what his school day is like, but I am absolutely sure that it's packed with the same attention to this very minute, and curiosity, and laughs, that his hangout time is.

So, what if I - or any of us - were more like Danny? Aside from having a closet full of cool Hawaiian shirts and a bitching CD dance collection, we'd also.....

Know that whatever is happening right now this minute, is just fine.....take people as they are and give them a chance, even if they have a hard time understanding you.....eat as many s'mores as you like because you don't get them everyday.....not hold back anything, ever (even the occasional gassy stuff).....help.....not apologize for what you feel deeply but do say "sorry" if it's insincere (No, Faking, says Dan)......let your guard down, people won't disappoint you.....don't let the worst version of yourself (which will turn up once in awhile) stick around too long.....hold onto pure love if it's offered from others.....dress up when it's time, dress down when you can......and always, lay down the boogie and play that funky music til you die.

You think you can dance? Dan knows he can.

So, Dan is at school now and will get off the bus this afternoon, asking how my day was before heading into his home to see how everyone else's day went. And, getting ready to be a college man....AFTER, making sure that today is done, well.

You're the man, Dan.

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