Blogging Virginity

Well, here I am. Delivering a bouncing baby blog after about a three-day "gee, it might be fun to blog" pregnancy, then a "sure, what the hell!" puuuush. Not that I've ever given birth to an actual human. That's the thing about looking back at your 46th birthday, and the loves and achievements and disappointments and millions of others things come and gone. You wish, and sometimes wail, often laugh and give thanks, and always bounce back. And occasionally, substitute alternate births once you accept that being a Mom-of-the-First-Order wasn't in The Plan for you.

That's where "remove that fork, I'm not DONE yet!" fits, or is. All people deal with hardships and transitions and tragedies, plus the wonderful flip-sides of those things. You expect to. What I didn't expect at this point, was the total, complete, didn't-see-it-coming weirdness of......being 46. I mean, c'mon. I have survived "big" things - a violent crime, divorce from my college sweetheart, the subsequent loss of the love-of-my-life relationship, the death of my Dad - and countless other real or perceived disappointments and injustices. I've reinvented my life so many times - and very well, if I can say - that I should have a patent. So what's up with this goofy..... weirdness? I hate this next phrase and almost can't write it, but is this what "mid-life crisis" is?

One thing I know, would even guarantee, is that I've done weirdness before. Even though it doesn't seem like it at the moment. So have you. And we will, over and again. Each time an expected or unexpected transition, or "significant life milestone" unfolds. There are LOTS of those. Occasionally, when minor injustices hit. And sometimes, weirdness just materializes for no damn tangible reason at all. But each time, we scream to win each round with it, and fight like bloody hell to keep our spirit one step ahead of whatever might have enough legs to try to run us down.

THAT'S why I only had a three-day blogging pregnancy. No matter what life impairments we create, or encounter, or have thrust on us, we're never done. Or beaten. Always, some life-spark whacks us upside the head to remind each one of us - and anyone who says or thinks "please, just stick a fork in that poor soul" - that we're just not ready for that. Not willing or gonna give up, or give in to the worst possibilities.

So....we give birth to blogs to help squeeze out some of the head-wanderings that just shouldn't be aired on facebook. Even if no one visits. But for those that do, let's have some fun with weirdness, and the quest to out-run it.