It's only been a month or so since Girl With a Twist hit match.com, but I'm ready to admit it: I STINK, at online dating. With a real, rotting-carcass-in-the-chimney kind of stink.
I truly did join match.com with a new, "just say yes" mindset, which so far has led to encounters such as:
DUDE169: u have a really gr8 profile. i luuuv ur pics. do u like my pics?
Girl With a Twist: Thanks. Your profile was, um, out of the ordinary. And that was a very different profile picture. Not too many guys can take their own picture while driving a golf ball. Did that hurt?
DUDE: nah. but i went to the doctor after taking the bench pressing pic. it was worth it..... i look awesome
Girl: Yes, Dr. Awesome, that is quite a photo. #26, I think.
DUDE: nah, 26 thru 31 show me dressed up looking hot with my wife. uh, my ex-wife, i mean. wanna hook up at the gym? u could spot me. then i could show u more pics.
Girl: Oops, the toilet is overflowing. Gotta run.....!
Now, I am all for healthy egos. I love them. My irrepressible nine-year-old nephew - the REAL Dr. Awesome - has one that keeps me laughing, and loving him for his sheer joy at being. But that is something that can only be appreciated "live"......truly, nine-year-old Dr. Awesome just wouldn't translate as well in two dimensions as he does in your face. So for someone like me, who needs to see it, touch it, smell it (the guy, not the carcass) before dating it, online matching is about as appealing as pulling 23 ticks from a large, squirmy, long-haired dog. As drama-and-diva-free as I hope I am, it's just way too easy for me to shut-down a two-dimensional opportunity over something trivial. Like 43 self-shot vanity photos.
So stinking at this is actually okay, because over the last month I've had a lot of laughs - mostly at myself - and I've reconnected with my dating mojo. And if even a small percentage of the men online are legitimately single, then I've also learned that there are many more available men in Southwestern Pennsylvania than there are black bears. Which until recently I wouldn't have thought.
Which brings me to....meeting Dr. Awesome. My match. The adult version. I haven't met him yet, but I'm pretty sure it's not going to happen online. Which means Girl With a Twist needs to take the new, open, "just say yes" attitude on the road. Single friends have been alerted, and are maybe a little alarmed. I mean, it's been a long time since any of us have undertaken a targeted, let's-meet-Dr. Awesome mission.
But this might be a little bit different than my friends expect. The Dr. A roadtrip doesn't mean going to every happy hour and saying yes! to anyone who buys me a chardonnay. None of us want to become the newest Texts From Last Night girl.
So I guess the heart of this is....paying attention. A whole lot more. To the encounters I have in the running store, and while volunteering, and at the Home Depot, and yes....while out to drinks or dinners or activities with my friends and family. Maybe that will help me really see the authentic things I can wholeheartedly connect with, instead of discarding opportunities because they don't fit my tiny little framework.
Girl With a Twist is ready. Are you, Dr. Awesome?
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