The Truth About Teaching Old Dogs, New Tricks

More or less, for the last 37 years I've had a dog or two in my life. All have been wonderful animals who earned lots of "good boy" or "girl"s, as dog-praising goes. For the most part they were rescued and adopted from questionable circumstances, so they weren't exactly up-to-speed with basic commands. But when faced with "NO" they seemed to understand to stop whatever unsavory activity they were up to, no matter how completely occupied they were by it. Even the slightly demented five-year-old springer spaniel my former husband brought home one day - he chased his little tail stub BACKWARDS (the dog, not the husband) - knew to stop, even though it probably took a few dozen "NO"s and a Milk Bone.

I have two dogs now, both shelter rescues adopted at older ages. Snoopy (Dog 1) is nine now, and Reesie (#2) is five. They're wonderful dogs....curious and pokey as puppies still, sweet-souled, eager to play and to please, love to walk and run and hike, and love to eat even more. But inevitably they do things, which usually are much more laughable than they are scold-worthy. Until recently. I think they're deep into cabin fever, because they've started doing two things that are driving me ab-so-lute-ly nuts.

The first, I actually can't blame them for because it's partly my fault. Plus, if I were a dog, I'd do it every chance I got. This week they disappeared into the acres of woods surrounding my Mom's home, and ignored every call and bribe to come back. This was inconvenient, since my sole role was to get my Mom to the hospital for surgery and help with various post-operative things. I knew the dogs would be fine - we could hear lots of happy barking and other dog-chasing-critter activity way in the distance - and would eventually stagger back, gasping, exhausted, happy, and hungry. But they chose the romp over food bribes and quite honestly, ME....and, my pride took a little blow. My Mom took this with great humor. And yes, the dogs limped back, totally thrilled with themselves and their adventure. So I was actually happy for them (even though Dog 2 still smells a little weird). It's just that the next time we ventured into the yard, they were ready to take off again, and ignore me. So I kept them leashed, and felt a little badly for spoiling their next romp. We're back home and they're still exploring every nook in the fenced back yard but, in my mind, they seem a little disappointed.

Which brings me to the next thing. The other activity that's almost sent me running from the cabin (as in, fever) is something a friend has described as, "turdsicles". You KNOW what I mean.

The dogs eat them. Apparently, turdsicles are the irresistible snack choice of dogs who are not ever ever going to be near starving, and know exactly when they'll get their next meal. They're all over the yard now, because it's impossible to keep up with poop-scooping the backyard during prolonged snow emergencies, when we're not taking the same long walks during which the poop-scooping typically happens. I don't mean to spoil your appetite, but Snoopy never showed interest in these until Reesie came along, and now he's shadowing her, and both are filling up on them faster than I can get the NOs! out. This has not hurt my pride. It just makes me want to figure out how I can make dogs gargle before they lick me and everyone who pays a visit.

Both of these things have helped me to realize that my use of dog commands, really kind of stinks big ones.

So, if turdsicles are to NO what kryptonite is to Superman (old Mr. Boettcher would've liked that analogy), and woodland adventures are impervious to ME, then maybe I should try a different approach to them. Which is why I'm thinking the "Leave it" command might work just fine. If you click that "leave it", you'll find the online training guide I found to try. It outlines seven steps, starting with a "willing" dog in step 1. Since the training involved food rewards, I felt pretty good about the willing dog part.

This looked simple and completely do-able. I didn't see much to be concerned about except that maybe I wouldn't find a "jackpot" treat, since these dogs eat everything offered in the same ravenously, joyful way. But some leftover meatloaf seemed like a perfectly good jackpot treat so I took some of that, and started with Dog 2.

And, ended with Dog 2. Reesie got it, quickly, and moved right into the "behavior generalization" of step 7. With Snoopy, however, we were stuck on the "....your dog will probably look up at you in a quizzical, puzzled manner" described in step 3 or 4. I think because he knows I'm a sucker, and frankly, because he's nine and doesn't give a damn about my new commands. He's still an obedient boy and good listener, but I'm noticing in the last year he's become a little more like my Irish Grandpa was....dead set on enjoying the few small vices he has, no matter what anyone else thinks about it.

So, I'm not going to fuss about turdsicles anymore, and will be sure to find safe, open spaces where they can run free and explore.

I think Snoopy just taught me a new trick. Good Boy.....